Lying Little Toads

I remember as a kid – back when the stuff you got out of a weetbix packet really WAS good stuff. I remember getting this little red Dalek no bigger than a match box, it had a ballbearing in it’s arse to keep it upright and make it roll along the table – brilliant.

I remember writing in to get the secret decoder strip (sort of this polarised red plastic strip) for dangermouse or some bloody fad-cartoon thing.  Damn I was excited – as only a 5 yr old can be. Waited forever (5 days) empires had risen and fallen in that time (5 yr-old time), and when I got it – I was king for a day.

Then I used my decoder strip – and realised pretty damned quick that the stuff I was decoding was in fact more advertising for me to eat more fucking weetbix.

It all went down hill after that – easter bunny, santa, the tooth fairy – all the stuff kids are supposed to know about. See now I reckon that if kids are told the truth from the get go, then they can be the mercenary little bastards they are from the start. See kids are not remotely stupid – clever little buggers, and masters of cause and effect. The plots you hatch as a 5-6 yr old are masterful. But I digress.

Was I scarred – was I traumatised – fuck off, it’s called growing up. BUT what did niggle me was the misrepresentation.

I have found to this day there is one thing I cannot stand and it’s misrepresentation – people presenting something either that doesn’t bloody exist, or doesn’t exist in the state they are selling it in.

The worst is people pretending to be something they are not.


A number of factors I think contribute to this, and it’s rife across the pagan community.

As an example – I shall pick on those evil wiccans, and the common causes of misrepresentation.

1) Ignorance – lets face it out in the colonies they don’t for the most part know any better. I have encounter ONCE (count it ) Once where a decent individual was enlightened to the fact that they weren’t what he believed to be. This good person, nodded, went “Ah” and got on with their life better for knowing – all respect to them. It is a learning process after all.  He thought he was a Gardnerian because he sat around a fire with another.

But then I see a sea of ignorance – spells being sold on Trademe(like EBAY) for fuksake – and some bottom feeder claiming they are Wiccan. Neo-pagans who have never had access to the BOS let alone any tutelage claiming to be Wiccan, not realising that initiation actually goes hand in hand with the label.



Don’t get me started on Self initiation.

2) Stupidity – The ignorant can do something about it. The stupid (those people that clicked a switch one day and said – yep – fuck reality, this is as good as it gets)don’t have a choice, so I guess we have to live it. They are the laity – common folk, the salt of the earth – good honest Christian folk labeling themselves something else to get back at their daddy.

3) Our eternal sisters of Suffering – the opwessed, the victimised (you’re victimising them now you know, you just don’t know it). You can spot them a mile away. It’ll be some weedy little guy wearing the Nazis-against-racism cap badge, or his empowered owner/AHEM-titanic girlfriend going on about pagan rights and the burning times, and how we’re all so fucking opwessed by capitalist pig dogs and information is free really – well it should be – why should I have to work for it dammit – don’t you opwess me quack quack quack.

Perhaps I’m a little harsh – the poor dears have yet to realise the magick works, that it is infact a lifestyle and that spiritual evolution, albeit forced has great rewards. But no- enforced poverty, crap food, crap accomodation, crap clothes, shitty prospects – phht, no wonder they are so tied up in their pointless world. No wonder when one of their sisters is called out for talking bullshit by claiming she’s wiccan to get equally stupid people to join her coven, that they too claim to be wiccan just to offer solidarity to the opwessed.

(Just as an aside – for the record like – and take this for what it is – the possible wibblings of the insane- the magick works – anything you can conceive is possible – money, title, a decent parking space – all of it.)

4) Money – don’t believe what you hear – it changes everything. The story is always thew same and it happens again and again: A number of people who had insinuated themselves into the pagan community, set up websites, set up Organisations, and began to sell their honourless brand of bildge to the masses, sterile, and vacuum packed for convenience, whilst crapping on high on anything that remotely threatened their market space (ie the truth, or legitimate crafters) You wonder why I hate marketing – it’s founded on lies lies lies.

This can manifest in a number of ways – but the predominant method of their continued bullshit is to attempt to isolate and therefore keep the masses in ignorance of each other, and the opportunities they now have.  This is achieved through misinformation, outright lies, misdirection, and the usual attempt to pretend to be something they are not all to make a few fast bucks. I wonder if such people should in fact go under the stupid section of this post. Do they seriously believe they can get away with this forever and that someone wont actually notice?

5) Sex. Nuff said really – immature dejected and usually degenerate individuals that will pretend to be Wiccan in an effort to get their leg over. They will run bogus groups that do not train, they will offer the stars in an effort to at least get some poor thing over tho their gaff and then tell them it’s some dark and arcane necessity that they get their tits out.  When you think how bloody infantile this is – it’s no surprise such individuals are at the bottom of the food chain and have probably failed at everything else they have ever done.

The worst is when actual Wiccans pull this shit.  Sooner or later they get caught out as well – and will probably be getting a sound kicking any minute now.

It disgusts me it really does, when I see born naturals turned from the path because some fucking insect couldn’t keep his dick in his trousers.  That isolation thing springs to mind – tell them this is how it is – and you can bet 40% of the time they’ll buy it – well once anyway.

6) Isolation – this In my humble opinion is the prime reason all this shit goes on. It is enough that the colonial attitude thinks – I’m on my own, I have myself to rely on, I give it a good crack and see what works, and excuse me this works for me so fuck off and leave me to it thanks – I totally respect that.
But it is not appropriate for the Sisters of Suffering to isolate their charges, groupies, hangers on with tales of woe and oppression.
It is not appropriate for merchants – aka hereditaries (most cultures rank merchants lower than peasants, but one step above untouchables – a necessary evil) to spin lies to stop various parts of the community interacting. We have seen in perfect fashion what happens when someone takes it upon themselves to tell stories about anyone they know – all to make themselves the centre of the universe. Thats what is to be expected from bottom feeders who value nothing, not the craft, not the people they call friends, not themselves.
It is not appropriate for perverts, sexual predators et al to deliberately isolate those too ignorant to know any better.

You wonder why I piss people off – because I take issue with each and everyone of the aforesaid points – I really do – and the lowlifes that piss and moan about me fit somewhere into all of this.

The ones I don’t piss off – I don’t need to explain one bit of this. They already know.

{Rant ends – Angry of Mayfair back in his box}

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